Archive for the ‘Math Humor’ Category

The Math and Logic of Yogi Berra

Sunday, May 1st, 2011

Math

  • You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I’m not hungry enough to eat six.
  • A nickel ain’t worth a dime anymore.
  • Baseball is ninety percent mental and the other half is physical.
  • Another variation: Ninety percent of this game is half mental.
  • Half the lies they tell about me aren’t true.
  • You have to give 100 percent in the first half of the game. If that isn’t enough, in the second half, you have to give what is left.

Logic

  • The future ain’t what it used to be.
  • I really didn’t say everything I said.
  • I usually take a two hour nap from one to four.
  • Never answer an anonymous letter.
  • In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is.
  • Nobody goes there anymore. It’s too crowded.
  • On why NY lost the 1960 series to Pittsburgh: We made too many wrong mistakes.
  • It gets late early out here.
  • If you don’t know where you’re going, you’ll wind up somewhere else.
  • If I didn’t wake up I’d still be sleeping.
  • I always thought that record would stand until it was broken.
  • We have a good time together, even when we’re not together [talking about his wife Carmen].
  • Asked if first baseman Don Mattingly had exceeded expectations, Yogi said “I’d say he’s done more than that!”

[Various online sources, including YogiBerra.com’s Yogi-isms and Retrogalaxy.com’s Yogi-Berra]


Have You Conside that …? (Thinking differently)

Monday, April 25th, 2011


Fact: Most people have more than the average number of legs.

[Source: Joke #25, “31 Jokes for Nerds”, YouTube Video, posted by Vlogbrothers]

(This observation is correct for all  parts of the body.)

One One One and One One

Friday, October 22nd, 2010

One One One was one racehorse,
One One was one too.
One One One won one race,
One One won one too.

More Is Not Always…

Saturday, August 7th, 2010

Q: What’s worse than getting a flat tire?

A: Getting two flat tires.

Q: What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?

A: Finding half a worm in your apple

When 15 > 25?

Wednesday, March 10th, 2010

A customer walked into our auto-parts store looking for a flat washer. “That’ll be 15 cents,” I said.

“Fifteen cents for a washer? Are you crazy?” he yelled. “I’ll drill a hole in a quarter and make my own.”

Jack Reeves

[Source: Reader’s Digest, August 2009, @Work (p. 67)]

Driving Math with the Math of Driving

Monday, February 22nd, 2010

Driving is a serious matter but this is funny.

Visiting family in Kentucky is a heart-stopping experience if only because my brother-in-law drives in the middle of the road, straddling the double
yellow lines that separate traffic. My sister-in-law does little to ease my fears. Seeing the horror in my eyes, she once said, “Don’t worry. Everyone around here drives in the middles of the road.”

Lisa Walters, Ypsilanti, Michigan


[Source:
Reader’s Digest, June 2009, Life (p. 198)]

Is More Always Worse?

Thursday, December 27th, 2007

Is it always true that if you have a good thing, then having more of it is better and, conversely, if you got something bad having more of it is worse? Case in point, consider the following situation (usually told as a joke):
“What is worse than finding a worm in the apple you are eating?”
“I don’t know… Two worms.”
“No. Half a worm!”